Goodness

This weekend I saw the most beautiful quote while browsing through stores with a friend: 

Limbs are cherished because they are parts of the body:

why then are other people not cherished because they are parts of humanity? 

We both paused -- we were truly overcome by the power of these words -- and read the quote again. We let the words sink, simmer, and bloom. A new wave of perspectives poured over me. Epiphanies were solidified. It was subtle, but present and etched into me. 

Throughout the day I kept thinking, reflecting, and beaming over the sheer fact that: 

There is goodness in this world. 

In this life. 

In others, and in you. 

There is goodness in our bodies. 

In your body. 

Everyone. Cherish your body and what it does for you. Appreciate how your lungs, your heart, your liver, your organs -- get you through the day. They support you. They care for you. Your legs and your feet carry you. Your arms and hands help you grab things, touch people, hug people, love people. 

Your body helps you 

express, 

move, 

groove, and 

live. 

Do not let yourself become detached or separated from how special your body is. The process of evolution that caused it to form. The way that the substances that makes up your features, skin, color, curves, and muscles have evolved over so many years to exist in this point in time. 

Our bodies - our matter - is the result of love, of human interaction, of orchestrated chances, and connections. Our bodies are history. Our bodies are the future - as it constantly changes and interacts with new places, new things, and new people. 

Let those statements settle. Let them develop into a deep and intense love for yourself and your body. Let yourself realize how wonderful it is that:

You are here. 

On this planet. 

With this body. 

Right now. 

That is exquisite.

Accepting and appreciating your body can be such a liberating feeling. It literally changes how you see life, how you feel, and how you interact with others. 

It feels so. damn. good. 

But what feels even better -- once you've gained an intense appreciation for your own body and life -- is knowing that you are surrounded by billions of people who have ALSO had years and years and years of commingling interactions and situations that have lead to them being: 

Here. 

On this plant. 

With their body. 

Right now. 

And all of those interactions, features, bodies, personalities, and ways of loving are all unique and have been crafted in their own distinct ways. 

This perspective -- coupled with the sheer fact that OUR CHANCES of being born in this particular time, place, and circumstances are 1 in 400,000,000,000* -- is astounding. humbling. powerful. enlightening. 

It inspires me to cherish myself, and cherish everyone around me, 

for we are all so fortunate to even be here. 

To be breathing, living, and sharing moments together. 

(*That is considering all natural disasters, the chances of your ancestors meeting and mating, specific egg and sperm combinations, and so much more). 

If we have never been amazed by the very fact that we exist, we are squandering the greatest fact of all. -- Will Durant. 

So please, be kind to yourself and be kind to one another. Because with all of this considered, our bodies and our lives are all undoubtedly worthy of being cherished and appreciated. 

Let Go

Let go. 

Let go of every form of tension in your body. 

Every insecurity. 
Every let down. 
Every worry. 
Every preconceived idea of who you should be. 
Every expectation projected upon you. 
Every self-imposed expectation. 
Every idea of what your identity should be. 

Let go of stiff body language, lack of eye contact, lack of love, and lack of compassion. 

Just let. it. all. GO. 

It can take time, it can take practice to let things go. But at some point, you just have to make the leap, and let all of that GO. 

I went dancing with some friends Friday night and noticed I was feeling tense. I was over-thinking things, wondering, 

        How do I look? 
        How should I be dancing? 
        Is there somewhere I can put my bag, this feels so uncomfortable to dance         with?
        Is it going to be easy to keep the group together? 

SO MANY THINGS were running through my head as the opener played. And then the artist we were there to see came on stage, and I slowly just started dancing more and more and started feeling more comfortable. And finally, I just threw my hands up in the air and danced however I wanted. 

I wasn't looking at anyone else, wasn't dancing for anyone else, or wondering what people thought of me. 

I just did what felt right for me. 

Dancing has never been so amazing. I haven't felt that good in so long. 

I let it all go. 

This is how I want to live. walk. breathe. interact. love. 

This is how I will carry myself. 

Free, 
open, and 
okay with who I am. 

Heart

There's a comfort for me that lies within the undefined, 

        the unfolding, the abrupt. 

I find sanctuary in the unknown, 

        the risky, 

          the bold, 

             the terrifying, 

                the passion. 

I love the thrill of stepping into territories that make my heart feel, open, and rage. 

These spaces help me grow, let me live, and let me radiate. But they are vulnerable. 

Extremely vulnerable. And sometimes isolating and lonely. These situations unveil my heart, my soul, my fears, my strengths, my insecurities, my love -- whether I'm ready for it or not. Everything is out there and on the table. 

However, every time I step into these realms, I am first broken down and then... I leave more confident, more open, more secure with uncertainty, more comfortable, and more keen on finding new uncharted spaces, places, people, and ideas. 

 

It's so raw, and it's so real, but it makes me feel more alive than ever.

My life occurs in these intense cycles. Each one beginning with a huge shift; a new place, a new lifestyle, and a new set of faces. 

At first it felt jarring. It would shock my system. Make me numb. 

But now it's something I look forward to, and no longer fear. 

I crave this process, 

this way of being. 

This way of continually opening my heart with the world. 

Cyclical

I believe in cyclical motion; the power of putting actions, emotions, and vibes out into the world and then receiving something directly, or indirectly, in return. There is such beauty in giving without the intent of having something given back to you, but when things come back your way it feels incredible. The more you give, the more good vibes you put into the world, and the better you make others feel. Gradually, and overtime, I feel like the good vibes and all of the giving that a person has done accumulates and it seems like suddenly the world starts returning things back to you -- things just feel like they fall into place and just happen. 

Cyclical motion can occur in varying time spans, with different people, and in different settings, but the more I observe life and the way things unfold -- the more cyclical and harmonious things feels. 

Age

Age is vanishing and becoming merely just a number for me. 

Boundaries and concrete definitions, of what it means to be a certain age, are slowly breaking down and becoming relatively meaningless with every new experience and person that I encounter. 
There are expectations centered around where a person should be at in their lives during their teens, early 20's, late 20's, 30's, and so on; these can be helpful, but they can also be confining. 

The past year I've been shedding the idea of how I am supposed to act as a young post-graduate who is trying to find her place in the world. I don't want my identity to be dependent upon the characteristics of a typical college graduate, and newly employed individual. 

I have recently met so many people, of varying ages who are so youthful, SO INTELLIGENT, and full of passion; passion for different careers, arts, hobbies, lifestyle structures, and ways of learning and education. Their ideas of living, of interacting with people, and of conducting themselves as an individual have totally shattered my ideas of how I should be as a person. 

Age, and the behaviors that should come along with it, is such a simplified way of orchestrating how someone, a community, or a society should be. 

People are beautiful souls comprised of so many differing experiences, incidences, heartbreaks, triumphs, hues of light, and expressions of love. To sum this up with a number -- with polished, acceptable, and normal body language, greetings, diction, life plans, maturity levels, perceptions, and life accomplishments is LIMITING. So. Damn. Limiting. See this. Know this. Understand this. Live this. 

People can, and need to, express themselves in ways that suit themselves and their compilation of memories, lessons, and interactions that they have acquired and will acquire. People should also be able to shift how they carry themselves at any moment without shock or harsh judgment. People continuously have shifting eras of success and failure, different lifetimes within the same lifespan, and changing perspectives of themselves and the world with which they live in. We, the world, nature, everything, is continuously changing and transforming -- SO WHY must we limit things to a number, a specific type of identity, or particular societal norms for our entire life?

Experiment with the execution of the representation of your soul. Try different things, let yourself -- your being -- manifest in different ways that suit you in any given moment of your life. Don't be limited by what you "should" be doing at a certain age, or what hobbies are considered normal and acceptable. 

People are too complex and intricate for that. 

EXPRESS, EXPRESS, EXPRESS. 

And don't be afraid to defy the boundaries of age. 

Brewing

Life is operating just as it should be right now.

That doesn't mean everything is aligned, or that everything is anywhere near perfect. It just means that it just is, and the fact that it is, is just simply beautiful. 

The moon makes it feel like things are brewing. Good things. Very good things.

I've been doing much introspection and building up of courage. 

The past 6 or 7 months I've been in seclusion, in repair. Scared of vulnerability, yet craving to execute it so badly. 

And now, I feel like I'm truly getting there. I'm having more energy and my bravery supply is ready. Ready for the world. Ready to be open again.

By the end of this month, I know I'll fully -- and consistently -- be myself for the first time since November. I can feel it. And I just know.

I know that good things are coming. That my life is about to align, to come together, and feel so much better. Not that my life is terrible right now, because it DEFINITELY ISN'T. But right now things are calm and borderline stagnant. And although those periods of time are incredibly necessary for human functioning, it is also not how I want the majority of my life to be structured.

I only want those phases when they are necessary, not because I perpetuate them.

I'm ready for positive adventure and growth. 

Accept

In recent years, I developed this idea that in order to obtain full self-confidence, one needed to develop a sense of value, worth, and understanding that was completely independent of exterior and announced opinions. 

This isn't to say that one isn't influenced by societal norms, because obviously it is virtually impossible to NOT be influenced by societal norms. Even the rejection of societal norms is the result of still being influenced by social ideals, because you are consciously deviating from what others define as "acceptable." 

What I mean by an independent development of the self, is one that does not depend on the approval of, or verbal validation from, another person. In the past I've made myself very vulnerable with others and felt that the value of my worth was dictated by what those around me thought of me. I have received confidence boosts from these types of interactions, but I've had a few interactions that made this dependency incredibly sour for me; I wanted to develop and feel secure without any validation from anyone. 

To an extent, I think this is powerful -- to see yourself in a lovely light without needing to hear any encouraging words from anyone else. For the past year I became incredibly cemented in this idea and have carried myself that way for months. Overtime, I've slowly constructed an impenetrable wall around my heart -- completely rejecting any positive affirmations or interactions that I felt would define me and create some sort of dependence or deep and intimate connection with another human. 

This is not to say that I haven't been open with others, because I definitely have. I'm very expressive of who I am and what I'm feeling, and I definitely encourage others to feel the same way around me; like they can say anything that's on their mind and feel completely at ease while doing so. BUT, I did keep a tiny piece of me severely protected. And I mean, severely. I put out vibes into the world that did not welcome any sort of unwanted impacting attention, and if I did start to receive it from someone, I would immediately shut them down. 

But in the past two months... I've noticed that this idea, that I was so locked into, is starting to be deconstructed. The fact that I'm even aware that I was doing this is so wonderful, because there were definitely a few months where I was intently guarding my tenderness without even realizing it. I've become so close with some unexpected people who have been reaffirming qualities about myself, and bringing out some of my favorite -- but hidden -- characteristics; I'm surrounded by people who are starting to make me feel like "me" again. 

At first, I had a a strange reaction to this. It was everything I wanted -- (human interaction and positive energy), but everything I didn't want -- (exterior human influence on my identity) at the same time. After some self reflection, however, I began to realize that positive influences from others -- or being comforted by others positive comments/vibes/presence does not mean that you don't have a sense of self-worth or that you are unhealthily dependent on exterior validation. People need human interaction and influences -- fluid conversations, touch, and exchanges are necessary to live a fulfilling life; positive exchanges and affirmations are GOOD for you, and it is okay to accept them. A balance just needs to be found between DEMANDING these words from others and simply ACCEPTING them and letting them happen.

The demanding is unhealthy, and is probably where I used to stand when I was younger and dependent on exterior validation. The accepting is natural and beautiful and normal. The accepting let's people be expressive, and it lets you be vulnerable. The accepting means that you see these qualities in yourself, that you ARE happy with who you are, and that you're okay to let people see those qualities in you. The accepting means that you find yourself worthy of light, of love, and that you are capable of sharing who you are without any reservations.