**note, this post is just about spaces, and what YOU can do to make others feel comfortable. this post does not acknowledge the many layers of complexities that go into people's ability to access, or live within, said spaces. and it definitely does not acknowledge global dynamics.
I value cultivating spaces in which myself, and others, feel comfortable, open, and able to explore interests, discussions, and who they are.
Personal internal dialogue and interest exploration -- and expression -- is often stigmatized as a private entity within the United States; public or open declaration of our struggles, curiosities, or desires is unwarranted unless it fits certain criteria on how it's delivered, what the content is, and who the audience is. Pursuing vulnerability, or raw and wounded desires, is not easily welcomed by the masses, and it's especially not welcomed on social media (excluding sites like tumblr, which thankfully encourage and accept a sense of anonymity to people's profiles, due to our society's general void of spaces that allow for intimate communities and dialogues of self-expression).
To many, there is obviously an ever-so-delicate line between "over-sharing" and voicing something that needs to be unleashed, but just because someone says something deep, unusual, or profound, DOES NOT mean it's over-sharing.
Over-sharing is not only relative to every individual, but it is -- in part -- caused by our society's suppression of those gnawing or blooming thoughts that creep up within us every day.
The ones you act on, or don't act on.
The ones that paralyze you, or ignite you.
The ones you wish you could just shout, or proclaim as soon as they arise.
We've all had these thoughts at least once in our lives:
To deny this, means to accept one's self-cementing in our society's fear of confrontation and the act of feeling.
I'm not happy.
I am happy.
I really need someone to talk to.
I LIKE YOU.
That made me cry/tear up/sad/angry/happy.
We should kiss.
I deserve better.
You deserve better.
I know we just met, but you're wicked (or insert other desired adjective) cool and I know we hardly know each other, but we should be friends.
I NEED (LOVE, A HUG, FOOD, ADVENTURE, YOU)
This isn't what I want my life to be like.
THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED.
I want to change.
LISTEN.
I feel like I've known you for years.
I miss you.
Woah, you're attractive.
I am okay.
I AM _______.
I AM NOT ________.
We NEED more spaces and resources that support a sense of COMFORT, a sense of OKAY; a reassurance that all that we feel, think, believe, want to say, don't say, actually say, and desire is OKAY.
We all have these long internal checklists of
how we're supposed to present ourselves,
what we're supposed to pursue,
how we're supposed to engage with others, and
what we're supposed to say;
these things are limiting and restrict many people's happiness, openness, and curiosity.
And yet, despite wanting to say, feel, obtain, or shout something so badly, the majority quietly continues on with these stifling patterns, habits, and expectations. We continue with fear of expression and confrontation and thus let moments greet us and leave us without making the most of that exact moment, because we were too scared to mold or contort societal norms.
And to that, I say:
Disclaimer: sass is about to be unleashed.
BULLSHIT. Everyone has their personal battles, some are obviously worse than others. But to whoever is reading this, take a quick moment to think of a time and setting where you wish it would have been more "socially acceptable," to say, feel, or do something in particular. What did people do in order to create an environment where you felt UNCOMFORTABLE with just being you?
Now, take another moment to check yourself (before you wreck yourself), and wonder if you have ever made another person feel that level of discomfort that you previously experienced. (I'm not asking you to feel terrible, I'm just asking you to be aware). What could you have done differently to allow that person to feel more OKAY with who they are? We are all trying to live, pursue our dreams, and be okay in a complex and hypocritical, yet dynamic and beautiful society.
SO PLEASE, do not be an ass and TAMPER with someone's inner strength, or with someone's effort to try and live their life to the best of their ability. AND ON TOP OF THAT, make the effort to create a space in which THEY FEEL more comfortable while being in your presence.
You will feel better, and they will feel better.
It's not the answer to all of our problems, but hell... it's a small step toward a much needed revolution of consciousness and defining of norms.
Happy Monday errbody, and be kind to your neighbor and yourself.
I value cultivating spaces in which myself, and others, feel comfortable, open, and able to explore interests, discussions, and who they are.
Personal internal dialogue and interest exploration -- and expression -- is often stigmatized as a private entity within the United States; public or open declaration of our struggles, curiosities, or desires is unwarranted unless it fits certain criteria on how it's delivered, what the content is, and who the audience is. Pursuing vulnerability, or raw and wounded desires, is not easily welcomed by the masses, and it's especially not welcomed on social media (excluding sites like tumblr, which thankfully encourage and accept a sense of anonymity to people's profiles, due to our society's general void of spaces that allow for intimate communities and dialogues of self-expression).
To many, there is obviously an ever-so-delicate line between "over-sharing" and voicing something that needs to be unleashed, but just because someone says something deep, unusual, or profound, DOES NOT mean it's over-sharing.
Over-sharing is not only relative to every individual, but it is -- in part -- caused by our society's suppression of those gnawing or blooming thoughts that creep up within us every day.
The ones you act on, or don't act on.
The ones that paralyze you, or ignite you.
The ones you wish you could just shout, or proclaim as soon as they arise.
We've all had these thoughts at least once in our lives:
To deny this, means to accept one's self-cementing in our society's fear of confrontation and the act of feeling.
I'm not happy.
I am happy.
I really need someone to talk to.
I LIKE YOU.
That made me cry/tear up/sad/angry/happy.
We should kiss.
I deserve better.
You deserve better.
I know we just met, but you're wicked (or insert other desired adjective) cool and I know we hardly know each other, but we should be friends.
I NEED (LOVE, A HUG, FOOD, ADVENTURE, YOU)
This isn't what I want my life to be like.
THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED.
I want to change.
LISTEN.
I feel like I've known you for years.
I miss you.
Woah, you're attractive.
I am okay.
I AM _______.
I AM NOT ________.
We NEED more spaces and resources that support a sense of COMFORT, a sense of OKAY; a reassurance that all that we feel, think, believe, want to say, don't say, actually say, and desire is OKAY.
We all have these long internal checklists of
how we're supposed to present ourselves,
what we're supposed to pursue,
how we're supposed to engage with others, and
what we're supposed to say;
these things are limiting and restrict many people's happiness, openness, and curiosity.
And yet, despite wanting to say, feel, obtain, or shout something so badly, the majority quietly continues on with these stifling patterns, habits, and expectations. We continue with fear of expression and confrontation and thus let moments greet us and leave us without making the most of that exact moment, because we were too scared to mold or contort societal norms.
And to that, I say:
Disclaimer: sass is about to be unleashed.
BULLSHIT. Everyone has their personal battles, some are obviously worse than others. But to whoever is reading this, take a quick moment to think of a time and setting where you wish it would have been more "socially acceptable," to say, feel, or do something in particular. What did people do in order to create an environment where you felt UNCOMFORTABLE with just being you?
Now, take another moment to check yourself (before you wreck yourself), and wonder if you have ever made another person feel that level of discomfort that you previously experienced. (I'm not asking you to feel terrible, I'm just asking you to be aware). What could you have done differently to allow that person to feel more OKAY with who they are? We are all trying to live, pursue our dreams, and be okay in a complex and hypocritical, yet dynamic and beautiful society.
SO PLEASE, do not be an ass and TAMPER with someone's inner strength, or with someone's effort to try and live their life to the best of their ability. AND ON TOP OF THAT, make the effort to create a space in which THEY FEEL more comfortable while being in your presence.
You will feel better, and they will feel better.
It's not the answer to all of our problems, but hell... it's a small step toward a much needed revolution of consciousness and defining of norms.
Happy Monday errbody, and be kind to your neighbor and yourself.
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