Flowers in your hair

I spent the morning looking at photos from over the past year. And wow... I've changed. A whole lot. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sb6LduFwRM

Growing up I always envisioned myself being here across the pond. My parents, from day 1 have showed me the incredible value in traveling and seeing the world. In addition to my parent's leading example, I'd always hear incredible stories, from my cousins, of their experiences abroad, and I'd think... "Ya, I need to do that someday." 

I feel like my itch to travel has always really defined me. If people ever asked me, "What do you want to do with your life?" it was always something that involved traveling. Except I was really serious. I'm not bullshitting when I say I want a job that involves me seeing the world. 

A few months ago, I started to get really scared that this wouldn't be possible for me. And that really ate at me. It hurt my pride. BIG TIME.  

You always hear stories of people who just wake up one day and do whatever they want, but that's all you hear... are stories. And you wonder, how is that even possible?

Until now.

Being in Marrakech really changed my life. Forever. I met so many people who just got up one day and said, "I'm seeing the world, TODAY, damnit. Not tomorrow. TODAY." They put their "lives" (what a joke that our society puts life synonymous with a job) on hold, and set out. 

I met people who had been traveling for 8 months, 8 weeks, or had just begun their journey.

I met one guy who just confirmed everything I was scared about. One day, he got up and set out on his motorbike, with his possessions, to do a roadtrip from Amsterdam to Marrakech. We were just meeting him at the end of his journey.

Not only did he change our experience in Marrakech and show us how to interact with people (more on that in another post), but he completely reaffirmed the type of life I want to have. His name was Tony. One of two names that I learned during my time in Marrakech. I met so many people that I had incredible interactions with -- like this -- that changed my view on life, and yet I didn't even get their names.

And I envied these people. So much. Until, I realized, I'm living the dream too. I'm making it happen. At whatever costs. Spending as little as possible on food to make these travels happen. I'm doing it. And I'm going to keep doing it.

I really think I'm going to come back to Europe within the next 5 years. I have to. The cultural integration here. The pace. The possibilties. They seem so great. For me, I've blossomed here. Maybe it's something in the water? 

Just. Don't ever think you're tied down to your life or some "idea." I know that sounds silly coming from the young 21 year old who hasn't even had a "real" full-time job  yet. But I'm serious guys. Do what ever the hell you want. When you want. We don't have a contract written in blood that says we have to slave away at some job we hate. I'm sorry, but we don't. Unless a societal norm just became an unwritten and binding contract.

People, including me, have always been so scared of the unknown, because in our society we're supposed to know everything, and always have everything together. But what the hell is "together." All of it is relative. So stop being scared. Stop thinking it's going to be so much worse than it is. People are so much nicer than we think. Doing what we want is far more capable than we actually think. And if you get turned down, you didn't lose anything, because you didn't have that one thing to begin with, so just move on and try something new.

I had to fall on my ass pretty hard, and take a great leap of faith first, so I'm not saying it won't be hard at first. It probably will be really hard. But just go with the flow, ride the waves, and see where your feet lead you. Trust yourself. Trust others. I learned that in Morocco. The importance of trusting others. It's huge.

Coming back from this trip, I noticed I wasn't always nervous and anxious like I usually am. I can't describe how big that is for me. I'm usually so nervous and uncomfortable in foreign situations or with the unknown. I'm always critical of myself, and feel self-conscious in certain group settings. And now, that's virtually washed away. That's huge guys.

I can always tell when I'm relaxed because I can speak Italian with ease without over thinking it. When I got back from Marrakech, I babbled in Italian about my entire trip. Without thinking about it. I know that sounds small. But I can't even describe how important and incredible that is. 

I'm sorry this post is all over the place, but I've had so many epiphanies, and I feel so enlightened and grateful. So incredibly grateful. 

So, to my family and friends, and strangers, who have supported me, I say thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You always redirected me to my dreams when I started to waiver. You gave me the opportunity to do this. You put your money, your time, and your love toward making this happen for me. That is UNREAL. I am so lucky. So so so lucky. I just... I can't even describe it.

Just please know. I think of you all. Every. Single. Day. And it overwhelms me how incredible you guys are. Especially you Mom and Dad. Just, thank you. For everything. You raised me to appreciate others and to appreciate these moments. You taught me how to savor the world, no matter how small the experience seems. And because of you, every interaction that comes my way doesn't go without appreciation.

I love you family. So much. You have raised a daughter who couldn't be more grateful for what you've done. 

MOROCCO

Here's just a teaser for now! 

Cinque Terre

So once again I'm going to be lazy and just type up a journal entry. I will say though, that today is my 3rd month anniversary in Bologna. How crazy is that? I'm scared to come home because I'm scared I won't keep feeling so liberated and so in tune with everything. 

I don't want to lose that. 

I went to the Cinque Terre Saturday morning with Lara. We got up at 4:40 and our train left at 6:20. We got back into Bologna at 11:30 pm last night. 

Day 1:

"I'm in the Cinque Terre right now, laying in my hostel and I'm so happy. I'm getting sick and my body hurts all over, but I'm so happy. It feels so good to lay under this kelty green down comforter. Lara is on the top bunk texting on her phone. 

I spent the night at her hosue last night after her, Morgan, and I did P90X yoga (It's kind of a regular thing now). We went grocery shopping yesterday too, to get food for this weekend. It wasn't as hard to get up as I thought it was going to be and it wasn't too cold. 

When we were walking to the bus stop, on the bus, and on the train, we talked the entire time. When I finally saw the ocean to my left, I was so giddy. We got off in Monterosso at 10:30 am, the only city with a beach with sand, walked down to the path above the beach, took off our shoes/socks and layers - grabbed some apples and walked barefoot down to the beach, while munching on apples and sticking our feet in the Mediterranean Ocean. The fresh salty air reminded me of beaches in California, but then I realized how calm the sea was, and got regrounded, remembering I'm actually in Italy. 

The weather was perfect today! A little cold in the shade, especially when our sweat was cooling, but perfect/warm in the sun. After taking some pictures, eating the entirety of our apples (core and all), and figuring out where we needed to go (by looking at maps on the wall), we walked on the trail to our left (facing the ocean=, and we did it barefoot for over an hour before everything started to get too rocky. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done, and even though I'm so exhausted right now, I still want to go backpacking through Europe. 

We saw beautiful views, golden leafed vineyards glistening in the sunshine, stone crumbling walls, rusting wired gates to private yards, trickling streams that swept under bridges or alongside the path, olive trees with nets on the ground surrounding the trees, collecting the ripened olives one by one. 

We walked from Monterosso to Vernazza and from Vernazza to Corniglia. By the time we go to Corniglia we were so tired that we took the train from Corniglia to Monarola, and now here I am, in the hostel. 

At 12:30 we stopped for lunch at a place with a great view where we could sit on a tree root in the sun. We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and cookies. We later laughed because a minute down the trail was a picturesque picnic bench, but it was in the shade, so we were more than happy with otu choice. 

At Vernazza, (church bells are ringing right now), we walked under an arch way, that almost seemed like a gate/entry way, to the path we needed to take to get down by the water. The street was tiny and cute with clothes lines, and little tiny chairs in front of everyones doors. Some were red, some were brown. All looked like the size for a 5 year old. We wanted gelato and saw a place that we thought was going to be shitty (from afar), but when we saw the menu and looked at their pistacchio, we knew it was going to be good, but didn't realize it was going to be the best gelato we had ever had. 

You can always tell if a gelato place is good by its pistacchio. If it's really brown, (not fluorescent green) you've found the right place. Lara got chocolate and pistacchio and I got persimon and canella (cinnamon). The pistacchio literally tasted like pistacchios from a shell. All of the flavors were incredible. The chocolate seemed like it had chunks of chocolate cake/brownie in it, the persimon was so thick it seemed like custard, and had real fruit. The canella was so cinnamony and sugary with chunks as well. And the pistacchio was also slightly salted. SO GOOD. 

When we got to the hostel, we rinsed off, (there was shampoo/soap available and free 5 min. showers) and then ate sliced deli salami on small bread rolls, pistacchios, nutella, milk chocolate, and shared a bottle of wine on Lara's top bunk. 

We eventually took a walk, and the city was so quiet. We walked over to the train station area and look down on the water and the tracks, as we sat on the ground, looking at the few stars in the sky and how the slivered moon reflected on the water. 

We walked back to il nostro ostello, e abbiamo mangiato una pizza margherita, perche' abbiamo ancora avuto fame. The guy who cooked it was so nice. Jersey Shore with Italians subtitles was on, and we sipped on beer. There were other Americans in the dining area as well. 

My body is so tired. Especially my arms and shoulders and legs. Everytime we walked down stairs our legs would shake. I loved getting to a communal water tap and being able to drink as much water as I wanted. I got so bitter when we went toward the marina in Corniglia only to discover there was no beach. Only two grumpy Italians with an oar boat business and three larger black dogs. Those stairs were beautiful, but brutal."

Day 2:

"So it's day 2 and our final day in Cinque Terre. I'm at the La Spezia train station, and I'm totally exhausted, our train won't be here for another 2 hours, but what can you do. Last night it was super hard to sleep. The people in our room kept going into their lockers at really freaking weird times and my body was actually so incredibly sore. I woke up at 8:30 with a sinus headache, but wasn't going to let that bother me. 

When I kept waking up the night before, I wanted my hip to pop so badly, or to be able to stretch out more. In the morning we ate prepackaged chocolate croissants, but we scooped out all of the crappy chocolate, and but nutella. Today we KNEW we were going to swim, but didn't know what orer we were going to do it in, because the forecast said it was going to rain, even though it didn't. AND it wasn't as cold as we thought it was going to be, but even if it had rained or was cold, we still would have gone in the water. 

We tried to walk on Via Dell'Amore to Riomaggior, but it said it was closed due to a crime investigation... SKETCH! So since Monterosso is the only place with a sandy beach, we decided we'd go back there. Walking around the city for the last time was peaceful, but so quiet. 

Our game plan was to finish our last bottle of wine, getting a little bit warmer from drinking, and go swim in the ocean, and then sleep and eat on the beach. 

We got to Monterosso, at ethe rest of the pistacchios and carrots, and started to drink the wine as we sat on a cement bench built into/below the upper sidewalk. 

We walked over to a sandy spot, sat down, and realized this sparkling wine wasn't going to make us warm enough. 

(Now Lara and I are sitting in the train station's McDonalds). 

So we decided to buy a new bottle of wine, from the only enoteca that was open. It was 9 euros, and straight from Chianti. I saved the cork. The guy gave us 2 plastic cups for free -- we're classy. We went back to the beach and drank the wine. Feeling sufficiently warm after the first glass. No more sparkling wine for us. 

We talked about random stuff, and laughed a lot. Once we finished the bottle, we decided to get ready to go into the water. We slowly started to walk into the water, because it was kind of cold at first. We stood talking for a bit, the water already up to my hips because I'm so short. And finally the water was midway on us and we just started swimming. People waved. 

One couple asked us if the water was cold, and we said not too bad, and then they said I bet the wine helps. Too true. Some people clapped, more waved, and others took pictures. We couldn't believe how warm the water was starting to feel, especially since it's November... the end of November at that. We laughed because we both started swimming away from each at the same time because we both had to pee.... Whoops. Sorry ocean. 

We swam under water a few times and it surprisingly felt better to also have our hair wet. Finally we got out, took some pictures, went back in for a little bit longer, and then started to put our underarmour back on, and took more pictures. 

We grabbed our stuff and walked up to the walking path, where we started to get the sand off our feet, and put our leggings back on. An Italian couple -- in their 50's or 60ìs -- started talking to usin Italian, they were from Torino. We had such a great talk. Thy asked us where we were from, what we were studying, our ethnicities, etc. I gave them my family history. They complimented me on my Italian. It was the womanàs birthday. We told her Tanti Auguri and parted ways. 

We felt even happier after that -- wet hair, wet clothes, and all. We then hopped on the train and headed to Riomaggior. We wandered around the city and explored, first getting some amazing hot chocolate. We went to the water and end ended up going down these stairs where we climbed rocks that made up the wave break. We layed on a big white marble rock. When we layed on our stomachs, the city was to our right and diagonally behind us. It felt so good to lay down. Oh and before that, we tried to walk up the hill to get a good view of the city, but couldn't find one that was easily accessible, so we sat and ate the rest of those croissants and nutella. 

Laying on those rocks felt so great. The marble was so cool and the sound of the waves so calming. We made fun of the seagulls that were near us. When we got up the stairs we went to the right, walked under some white rope that blocked the path -- an older man helped m with "il mio zaino" because the rope got stuck. With the coast to our right and sharp cliffs to our left, we walked down a path, that had been carved into the rocks, to find the rockiest beach I've ever seen. Literally just huge stones instead of fine sand. We sat there for alittle bit then slowly walked back to the train station because we were so freaking sore, but from doing amazing things."

We went to La Spezia, wandered around a bit, got these amazing Doner Kebabs that were only 3 euros each for students, and then chilled in a McDonalds for a bit, and munched on food while we waited for our train to arrive. We were literally so tired that it felt good to just sit. On the train we slept, and when we got into Bologna at 11:30, we both walked as fast as we could to get to our houses. 

Such a great weekend. I feel so lucky to be here. On Wednesday I leave for Madrid, then Thursday (THANKSGIVING) for Morocco. Sunday back to Madrid, and Monday back to Bologna. Can't wait :)