Observe

I love observing people; their body language, their mannerisms, expressions, words, gazes, style, laughter, random noises, and other miscellaneous forms of expression. 

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how many beautiful people there are to meet in this world. So many incredible and unique compositions of humanity, waiting to be uncovered. seen. and heard. 

The transition from working in the woods ~alone~ to going to a location with a lot of people doesn't give me a negative anxiety -- it makes me excited. When you're regularly spending time alone and by yourself, you have a microscopic ~in your bones~ understanding of how valuable human connection is and what type of people you want to surround yourself with. So, when I spend time in the city, I feel impassioned to cross paths with as many people as possible. 

Meditation and working outside on a daily basis has ingrained in me a new rhythmic foundation at which I operate. It is often calm, curious, and blank slated. Rather than viewing each day as canvassed and undetermined, I strive to be at a place where every moment, and every interaction feels this way. 

Every moment has the potential to turn the course of everything. Every moment is the present, and to allow my present ~current~ moment to be tainted by an earlier experience seems trivial at times. Especially when you're considering how many possibilities that can lie within 

every thought, 

every touch, and 

every interaction, 

especially when these things are greeted with presence, compassion, and deep genuine care. 

Swept

I've been silent on here recently. I find myself frequently turning to journal writing or other forms of media expression for an outlet and space for idea sharing. And yet, I have found myself missing this so much the past few days.

The winter weather has truly swept me away and lured me into the cold breezes, the drippy wet corners, the saturated soil, and gnarled knots and branches of trees. I have become quiet, thoughtful, pensive, gently -no tenderly- stoic, and am truly in a stage of philosophical healing and hibernation; I feel as though I'm gearing up for an even greater wave of blooming. A wave much greater, much more powerful and positive than the one I just experienced. It's like winter and this season are the world's way of saying ~~~ rest beautiful. breathe. bring ease to yourself, to your life, to others. 

And it's not just me who feels this way. I sense this in the air, and I sense it in my friends, my family, my loves. There's this hushed eagerness that I can tell is tingling in everyone; so ready for change, yet too paralyzed to move or act yet. We're restless and yet we know this is a time for patience. A time for introspection, even if it hurts. In fact, if it hurts -- even better, because than we know we aren't numbed by life and the cold. We know we are emotive, alive, and thriving. And we are all gearing up for an even grander state of being. 

And so, I wait. We wait. For Spring to come, for the New Year. We all wait for the tide to rise and subside. 

Goodness

This weekend I saw the most beautiful quote while browsing through stores with a friend: 

Limbs are cherished because they are parts of the body:

why then are other people not cherished because they are parts of humanity? 

We both paused -- we were truly overcome by the power of these words -- and read the quote again. We let the words sink, simmer, and bloom. A new wave of perspectives poured over me. Epiphanies were solidified. It was subtle, but present and etched into me. 

Throughout the day I kept thinking, reflecting, and beaming over the sheer fact that: 

There is goodness in this world. 

In this life. 

In others, and in you. 

There is goodness in our bodies. 

In your body. 

Everyone. Cherish your body and what it does for you. Appreciate how your lungs, your heart, your liver, your organs -- get you through the day. They support you. They care for you. Your legs and your feet carry you. Your arms and hands help you grab things, touch people, hug people, love people. 

Your body helps you 

express, 

move, 

groove, and 

live. 

Do not let yourself become detached or separated from how special your body is. The process of evolution that caused it to form. The way that the substances that makes up your features, skin, color, curves, and muscles have evolved over so many years to exist in this point in time. 

Our bodies - our matter - is the result of love, of human interaction, of orchestrated chances, and connections. Our bodies are history. Our bodies are the future - as it constantly changes and interacts with new places, new things, and new people. 

Let those statements settle. Let them develop into a deep and intense love for yourself and your body. Let yourself realize how wonderful it is that:

You are here. 

On this planet. 

With this body. 

Right now. 

That is exquisite.

Accepting and appreciating your body can be such a liberating feeling. It literally changes how you see life, how you feel, and how you interact with others. 

It feels so. damn. good. 

But what feels even better -- once you've gained an intense appreciation for your own body and life -- is knowing that you are surrounded by billions of people who have ALSO had years and years and years of commingling interactions and situations that have lead to them being: 

Here. 

On this plant. 

With their body. 

Right now. 

And all of those interactions, features, bodies, personalities, and ways of loving are all unique and have been crafted in their own distinct ways. 

This perspective -- coupled with the sheer fact that OUR CHANCES of being born in this particular time, place, and circumstances are 1 in 400,000,000,000* -- is astounding. humbling. powerful. enlightening. 

It inspires me to cherish myself, and cherish everyone around me, 

for we are all so fortunate to even be here. 

To be breathing, living, and sharing moments together. 

(*That is considering all natural disasters, the chances of your ancestors meeting and mating, specific egg and sperm combinations, and so much more). 

If we have never been amazed by the very fact that we exist, we are squandering the greatest fact of all. -- Will Durant. 

So please, be kind to yourself and be kind to one another. Because with all of this considered, our bodies and our lives are all undoubtedly worthy of being cherished and appreciated. 

Let Go

Let go. 

Let go of every form of tension in your body. 

Every insecurity. 
Every let down. 
Every worry. 
Every preconceived idea of who you should be. 
Every expectation projected upon you. 
Every self-imposed expectation. 
Every idea of what your identity should be. 

Let go of stiff body language, lack of eye contact, lack of love, and lack of compassion. 

Just let. it. all. GO. 

It can take time, it can take practice to let things go. But at some point, you just have to make the leap, and let all of that GO. 

I went dancing with some friends Friday night and noticed I was feeling tense. I was over-thinking things, wondering, 

        How do I look? 
        How should I be dancing? 
        Is there somewhere I can put my bag, this feels so uncomfortable to dance         with?
        Is it going to be easy to keep the group together? 

SO MANY THINGS were running through my head as the opener played. And then the artist we were there to see came on stage, and I slowly just started dancing more and more and started feeling more comfortable. And finally, I just threw my hands up in the air and danced however I wanted. 

I wasn't looking at anyone else, wasn't dancing for anyone else, or wondering what people thought of me. 

I just did what felt right for me. 

Dancing has never been so amazing. I haven't felt that good in so long. 

I let it all go. 

This is how I want to live. walk. breathe. interact. love. 

This is how I will carry myself. 

Free, 
open, and 
okay with who I am. 

Heart

There's a comfort for me that lies within the undefined, 

        the unfolding, the abrupt. 

I find sanctuary in the unknown, 

        the risky, 

          the bold, 

             the terrifying, 

                the passion. 

I love the thrill of stepping into territories that make my heart feel, open, and rage. 

These spaces help me grow, let me live, and let me radiate. But they are vulnerable. 

Extremely vulnerable. And sometimes isolating and lonely. These situations unveil my heart, my soul, my fears, my strengths, my insecurities, my love -- whether I'm ready for it or not. Everything is out there and on the table. 

However, every time I step into these realms, I am first broken down and then... I leave more confident, more open, more secure with uncertainty, more comfortable, and more keen on finding new uncharted spaces, places, people, and ideas. 

 

It's so raw, and it's so real, but it makes me feel more alive than ever.

My life occurs in these intense cycles. Each one beginning with a huge shift; a new place, a new lifestyle, and a new set of faces. 

At first it felt jarring. It would shock my system. Make me numb. 

But now it's something I look forward to, and no longer fear. 

I crave this process, 

this way of being. 

This way of continually opening my heart with the world. 

Cyclical

I believe in cyclical motion; the power of putting actions, emotions, and vibes out into the world and then receiving something directly, or indirectly, in return. There is such beauty in giving without the intent of having something given back to you, but when things come back your way it feels incredible. The more you give, the more good vibes you put into the world, and the better you make others feel. Gradually, and overtime, I feel like the good vibes and all of the giving that a person has done accumulates and it seems like suddenly the world starts returning things back to you -- things just feel like they fall into place and just happen. 

Cyclical motion can occur in varying time spans, with different people, and in different settings, but the more I observe life and the way things unfold -- the more cyclical and harmonious things feels. 

Age

Age is vanishing and becoming merely just a number for me. 

Boundaries and concrete definitions, of what it means to be a certain age, are slowly breaking down and becoming relatively meaningless with every new experience and person that I encounter. 
There are expectations centered around where a person should be at in their lives during their teens, early 20's, late 20's, 30's, and so on; these can be helpful, but they can also be confining. 

The past year I've been shedding the idea of how I am supposed to act as a young post-graduate who is trying to find her place in the world. I don't want my identity to be dependent upon the characteristics of a typical college graduate, and newly employed individual. 

I have recently met so many people, of varying ages who are so youthful, SO INTELLIGENT, and full of passion; passion for different careers, arts, hobbies, lifestyle structures, and ways of learning and education. Their ideas of living, of interacting with people, and of conducting themselves as an individual have totally shattered my ideas of how I should be as a person. 

Age, and the behaviors that should come along with it, is such a simplified way of orchestrating how someone, a community, or a society should be. 

People are beautiful souls comprised of so many differing experiences, incidences, heartbreaks, triumphs, hues of light, and expressions of love. To sum this up with a number -- with polished, acceptable, and normal body language, greetings, diction, life plans, maturity levels, perceptions, and life accomplishments is LIMITING. So. Damn. Limiting. See this. Know this. Understand this. Live this. 

People can, and need to, express themselves in ways that suit themselves and their compilation of memories, lessons, and interactions that they have acquired and will acquire. People should also be able to shift how they carry themselves at any moment without shock or harsh judgment. People continuously have shifting eras of success and failure, different lifetimes within the same lifespan, and changing perspectives of themselves and the world with which they live in. We, the world, nature, everything, is continuously changing and transforming -- SO WHY must we limit things to a number, a specific type of identity, or particular societal norms for our entire life?

Experiment with the execution of the representation of your soul. Try different things, let yourself -- your being -- manifest in different ways that suit you in any given moment of your life. Don't be limited by what you "should" be doing at a certain age, or what hobbies are considered normal and acceptable. 

People are too complex and intricate for that. 

EXPRESS, EXPRESS, EXPRESS. 

And don't be afraid to defy the boundaries of age.