Salty Projections

The moment the salty distaste of another fills your mouth with indigestible words is the moment self-loathing within becomes projected upon another. For the words you speak of another do not reflect the imperfections that they hold; they are a reflection of the insecurities and the facets of you that you have abandoned, forgotten to love, do not accept, and do not tend to. 

These words of hate that permeate so deeply into this country's dialogue are not only toxic, but a call for personal love and true authentic connection with others. 

The easy path is to blame, to be in fear, to compartmentalize, to ignore, and to accuse. 

The brave hearted path, is to dive in, to investigate, to open, to check in, to admit, to feel, to assess, to let go, to continuously evolve, to share, to speak with kindness, to embody communal radiance, and to love. 

Mission

Perhaps my mission, is ultimately, to love deeper, harder, wider, more openly, more courageously than I ever have before. 

Listening to two older woman sitting next to me in the cafe, chat about the state of the world. The fear of the unknown, the looming fact that a mass extinction is occurring right before us. The fact that having a child in this world right now seems terrifying and that if she were younger, she wouldn't even consider having a child at this point.  

In so many ways I couldn't agree more, and I feel that we are all ignoring the fragility of our species, and the species of the world, due to our own behaviors. The planet in and of itself, she is powerfully resilient. And humans are resilient, within their own limitations and their own stubborn and set ways. We are capable of so much, but not when we are so disconnected from one another. 

All I can pledge to do, is to continually minimize my waste, live presently, live openly, live LIGHT on this earth; light in footprint, light in cadence, light in words, light in love, light in impact, light in interaction. I pledge to bring connection into this world. I pledge to bring as much restoration, love, and care that I can to the natural world and to humans. I pledge to be more engaged with this world -- engaged with my community, engaged with self, engaged with expression, engaged with freedom of art forms. I pledge to be fearless and courageous at this time. 

Trust

Grounding down in trust for all of the seeds that have been planted. Trusting that the intentions will bloom. Trusting that the harvest will be plentiful. Trusting that whatever grows and appears will be for my highest good. 

Intentions that have been set are: 

~Writing a book
~Beginning and completing my yoga teacher training
~Studying for the RPF exam
~Taking my RPF exam in September
~Giving up sugar for the month of March
~Taking a Grant Writing course in May
~Running a Half Marathon in July
~Speaking my truth
~Allowing my light to shine bright
~Teaching my first yoga class 

Further grounding into the idea that the highest good for one, is the highest good for all. Eliminating the separation and see the progression and evolution of all. 

Seed

As Burning Man steadily approaches, and Leo season lights my spirit ablaze, I've been digging deep and thinking about what my ultimate creative intention and purpose is for this life. I've been looking closely at past passions ~and seeing if they still serve me~ while also embracing the potential in the unknown. I've also opened to the idea of forging a beautiful fusion between all passions. 

A love for writing has been embedded within me for almost 20 years; at a young age I knew I wanted to write and publish a book some day. This has really been lovingly gnawing at me the past month. There has been an indefinable momentum that has been gathering inertia, a calling to begin writing a book. 

With the spirit of fusion in mind, I know in my heart that I want to meld and bring communities together. Communities of health, science, conservation, movement, nature appreciation, yoga, intention, mindfulness, love, and STRENGTH. I want to forge the resilience and beauty within nature and inspire others to see that in themselves, while we all collaborate to conserve vital ecosystems and landscapes ~all while having love in our hearts. 

I want to inspire people by using loving words, poetry, imagery, body awareness, and meditation. This is the year I start writing my book -- I just know it. This is the year the ideas comes to mind. I want to be able to guide people, and facilitate breakthroughs, in body and nature awareness. I want to create a program that harmonizes strength building, mindfulness, love, and environmental conservation. A program that emphasizes the unity of everything, and how CONNECTED we are to nature. That we are nature in and of itself. 

I am open to whatever shapes this takes, and that it even takes my planted seed one step further, evolving it into something I never could have imagined. It is my time, to WRITE and spread loving awareness, through words, through unity. 

Craving

There are times where I begin to get a craving, or begin to feel hungry; it's usually when I've had too much coffee and/or begin to feel stressed, sometimes even bored. I feel like I need to have a bite of food to "make it better." And sometimes I do just need a bite or two to balance out the caffeine I've had, or help with a drop in blood sugar. But I can also have moments where I want to keep eating. And it's more in habit and in action, than it is in consciousness or need. When I pause and assess, I realize I need water, I need breath, I need to not evade the way that I'm feeling and "make it better" with a little nibble of something delicious. 

When I return. When I feel. When I sit with it all, it begins to feel so much better. I feel real, and alive. Versus like I'm fleeing myself and things that somehow feel difficult. It's funny how just after a few minutes of redirecting my attention away from the craving -- through writing, walking, or drinking water -- those difficult feelings go away. It's all just a habitual narrative construction -- that feeling that I need food -- in those certain situations. When I pause, I realize that I don't need this food. As a result, I return to my power. My strength. My true self. 

Food is a beautiful, glorious thing. I love cooking, creating, and savoring. I love the way a house smells on a rainy day as all of the rooms fill up with the scent of what's being cooked. I love sharing meals with people, trying new things, and plating things. I love seeing people's reactions to the tastes, the different combinations of flavors. Food is meant to be relished and loved, however it is not meant to be a numbing agent or an escape. Food should be something that brings us to presence, not something that drives us away from it. Food should be a healing agent in the sense that it gives fuel and nutrition, versus being an agent to cover up feelings of pain, loneliness, or stress. 

When we let food control us and act as a numbing agent, rather than an act of presence and health, we have relinquished our power over to something. We have shifted it from being a beautiful creation to something that is unconscious and harmful. When we allow ourselves to fill with gratitude and presence every time we plate, create, and consume a meal, we are doing our mind, body, and soul -- so much good. When we eat rapidly, while not paying attention to what exactly we are putting into our bodies, we are doing it harm. We are not really listening to what we actually need emotionally, spiritually, or physically. We cover up those natural cues and communication pathways that our body delivers to us, when we eat voraciously and unconsciously. We deny our bodies, we deny our hearts, and we deny ourselves when we overload with food. When we overload with food, that is a subconscious way of believing that we aren't worthy of care -- of tending to our own needs. 

When we eat with love, attention, moderation, and consciousness we are opening up to, and believing in, abundance, love, care, wellness, and prosperity. 

Emerging Love

Our personal evolution... isn't it amazing how we can seed, grow, blossom, decay, and regenerate? Whether it be cyclical, graceful, sporadic, effortless, wavy, or jagged -- I am always amazed by ~the moment. We all know that moment. The moment when: you're reflecting, savoring by way of your senses, or maybe even doing ~nothing~ and suddenly -- it all just hits you. Textures feel different and distinct, sights are more vibrant, your chest breathes with ease, love seems to drip, arise, and reveal itself from every hidden corner, sounds seem sweetly and softly amplified, your eyes sparkle, movement is fluid -- dancing even, and a state of peace surges; it all just flows. This is love generated from within. Love generated through practice, ritual, erasure of archaic thought patterns, establishment of new dialogue pathways, alone time, immersion in nature, exploration of creative endeavors, positive company, and embracing of mind//body//soul connections.
This is a powerful cultivation of self-love, that once established, seeps out of your pores and shines brightly. This is a self-love, that seems to be easier to come back to -- when one deviates from this home -- and temporarily ventures to other territories. This is a deep love that aligns with others. Others whom have explored their inner landscapes so extensively -- seeing the vast oscillations of all that is -- that they can't help, but accept and love it all, once everything has been so vulnerably revealed. This is a love that welcomes you. This is a love that nudges you when you return, and says, "Why did you ever leave, when this is all that you are -- all that you're ever meant to brilliantly be?"

Vision

A vision for myself: 

Rock climbing babe, who is incredibly strong, and wears bright colored socks and funky climbing clothes.
Owns a kayak, and regularly goes down the river. 
Summits mountains, with crampons, and an ice axe. 
Snow camps on her own. 
Snow shoes on her own. 
Rides her bike regularly. 
Does trail running and marathons.
Backpacks -- solo or with people. 
Strong in body, because her body reflects the nature and character of those around her --as well as the emotional exploration that she has done within. She is vast, expansive, and calming all at once.
Peaceful in mind -- reflecting the breeze, the waves, and all that surrounds. 
Resilient and earthened, like the soil around her.
Kind, sweet, and impeccable with her word, just as mother nature is with every sunrise. 
Yoga teacher training completed, and teaches classes on the side -- providing a space for people to release, move, and grow. 
Author and beauty observer. 
Pioneer in mind, body, soul, love, and conservation. 
Loves openly, and without reservation.